“With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.”
William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice (1.1.82)
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Know that it’s not too late.
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Know that you’re not too old.
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Cultivate your own individual style.
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Be yourself; let others do the same. And avoid trying to find your satisfaction vicariously through someone else’s life.
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Be able to articulate your values and beliefs.
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Each day, use your creativity, interests, and talents in some way.
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Write/Draw/Dance/Play music . . . to satisfy yourself, not for anyone else’s approval.
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Embrace this truth: If you try to do something according to someone else’s opinions—in place of your own—you’ll probably either not like the results or give up before finishing.
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Acknowledge that if you’re procrastinating, there’s something wrong with the situation. Figure out and address the problem.
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Learn something new every day.
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Learn for the pleasure of learning.
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Have a sense of purpose in life and keep that purpose shining in your heart and mind.
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Understand that your sense of purpose doesn’t have to be flashy, obvious to others, or highly specific (such as “become a bestselling author” or “sing Aida at the Met”).
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Develop and keep routines and traditions that support order and meaning in your life. Include time for meditation and reflection.
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Notice the interesting small details in nature and all of life.
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Keep a journal so that ideas, impressions, and memories don’t fade and days don’t get lost in the tide of years.
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Practice being fully present in the moment.
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Define the present moment as meaningful and interesting.
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Discover the positive potential and lessons in difficult situations.
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Value your blessings while you have them, and not just in hindsight.
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Do the best you can and then let it go. Don’t rehash the past by asking, “Did I really do my best and try my hardest?”
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Once a situation is past, forgive everyone for everything (which does not mean letting bad situations recur).
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Realize that other peoples’ behavior makes sense from their frame of reference.
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Don’t try to change other people, but allow for the possibility of their changing. (Your example is more powerful than your arguments.)
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Believe that no matter how hard others try to make you feel inferior, you are an equally important and valuable human being.
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Minimize contact with energy vampires and other people who don’t make you feel good about yourself.
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Don’t allow yourself to feel like a child who has misbehaved. You acted as you did for a reason, even if you will look at the situation differently next time.
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Look for and take opportunities to give honest encouragement.
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Recognize that encouraging others doesn’t mean trying to please them to win their favor.
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Don’t allow yourself to act out of fear of rejection or criticism.
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In relationships, act from the beginning according to the principle of mutual respect; it can be exceedingly difficult to change the relationship dynamics later.
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Identify a mentor to help you strengthen your confidence, courage, and dedication to your values and life focus. A mentor can be someone you admire but don’t know personally.
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Find and seize opportunities to see life from others’ perspectives and situations.
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If you’re lonely, reach out to someone to whom you could give pleasure.
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Be aware that reaching out to and helping others can take many forms, including writing and other creative endeavors.
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Don’t value helping strangers above helping family members and other loved ones: both kinds of service are infinitely important, so serve where and how you can.
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Realize that if you fail to honor your own fundamental needs, you won’t be able to continue helping others over the long haul.
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If you are doing an assignment or task for someone else, first accept it consciously as something you are choosing to do, and then put your own stamp on it.
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Accept that getting stressed won’t lead to greater punctuality/perfection/approval than will staying calm.
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Strive, in your own way, to advance justice and kindness.
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I loved this and like to think I have learned much of it during a long life. I would add to #24 – by changing how we interact with another person, it may cause them to change in response. That, however, should not be our purpose but, rather a happy result of changing ourselves.
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Thank you, Barbara–and excellent point about #24!
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